wednesday night i got to bond with my little niece, j a bit. we went to sushi with her mom and dad. we totally bored her, so she went to sleep.



but when we got home, she hammed it up for the camera. she talked and oooohhed and ahhhed and gurgled a lot.
here she is with da.


and here are three generations. da, her dad (and my little bro) and little baby j.


yep, i'm in love.

Dear Ollie,

I can't believe you're three today.

6 weeks in his onesie from Auntie GG and Uncle C

Gone are your gooey thighs and rubberband wrists.


You're no longer content to sit still at the park.


The car ads in the newspaper don't give you a thrill anymore. Maybe when you're 16 and hoping for a car. (Don't get your hopes up, kid.)



You say you need things, like you need to watch “Thomas the Train.” You need leche. You need to stay up. We always correct you and say you don’t need that—you only want that.
Now you say, “I need-want to watch Thomas the Train,” or “I need-want to go play.”

You always tell Dad and me, “hold you,” which means you want one of us to hold you.

Your favorite movies are “Cars” and “Horton Hears a Who.” You like to watch “Dinosaur Train,” “Curious George” and much to our chagrin, “Thomas.” You always find a toy to go with what you're watching. If it's "Cars," you hold McQueen. If it's "Horton," you find an elephant.

Sometimes you tell me to be “Oviler” and you’ll be “Twacey.” Then you call me honey and ask if I want to go the park.

You hate taking a bath, except if it’s time for bed.


You love, love, love your best friend, Faelan. When you’re at school and I tell you that it’s time to go and to tell your friends goodbye, you say bye to Faelan only. We’re working on this.

Sometimes you ask if we can “have a cuddle” and my heart melts.

You truly love people, particularly kids.

You love your uncles and you show off for them.


All of your grandparents are mad about you -- and you know it.

When we’re driving you talk constantly and you’re a bad backseat driver. Once I didn’t have my seatbelt on and you hounded me until I put it on. (Not because of the seatbelt, but because of the light on the dashboard.) When we sit in traffic you often ask me if I can drive faster.

You sing the ABCs when you’re excited. On our way to a birthday party? You belt it out.
Waiting for a donut at Fellini’s? ABC!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ollie-pepper, Mr Magoozer, MowMow, Ollie-max, we love you to pieces. Happy birthday, big guy.

Love, Mama

my very first self made margarita! i'm obsessed--they are SO good.


if i am not stepping on a cheerio, i see a spider. it's an either or thing in this house.


ollie, in his backpack, collecting "leafwiches." leafwiches are courtesy of dinosaur trian. backpack is courtesy of our dear friends. please note the backpack was not able to be removed for lunch or movie watching. he's hardcore.

i'm throwing a baby shower in late july, so i'm starting to gather ideas here...

i served dragonfly petits fours at my wedding. they taste as delicious as they look.

from here.

bud vases at each place setting, which will double as favors.

from here.

i love bunting and this seems baby shower appropriate.

from here.

there was a time when i would read three, four books a week. then i got pregnant. and i still read, though not for fun. i was reading for survival. holy smokes, i was convinced birth was going to be awful and scary. i read anything and everything i could find about childbirth. from ina may, to dr. sears to what to expect, to authors i've never heard of, i read anything i could get my hands on.

for one weekend, the weekend i read the ina may book, i actually thought i might have a natural childbirth. that notion didn't last long. at one point my mom told me to stop reading about childbirth because she knew i was freaking myself out. a girlfriend gently told me not to forget to read about the child raising, in addition to the child birthing. "a birth lasts for hours, but you'll raise your child for years" she cautioned. both my mom and friend were right, but of course, i ignored them and kept reading. and reading and reading.

when i did have ollie, of course, nothing went the way i'd imagined it would and nothing i worried about happened. i've always meant to share his birth story here, but i've never finished writing it. briefly though: i got an epidural before i even dilated. i didn't realize just how scary it was, until well after ollie was born, months after even, did it REALLY sink in. his apgar score was low, very low at first. he was not really crying and he was blue. they brought him to a corner of the delivery room, and a pediatrician, another doctor and 2 nurses hovered over him while gabe and i sat across the room, freaking OUT. is he OK we asked the OB. she said she couldn't tell us if he was or not. i remember whimpering. the nurse, who'd practically delivered him (the OB wasn't there yet because he came so fast) told us, "i don't deliver unhealthy babies." and, she didn't lie -- in minutes he was more than OK -- he was totally fine. and quickly we forgot about those short few minutes in that room, as our focus turned to this new little person.

i'm getting distracted though. back to reading. the past two weeks, i've been reading again, like i used to read. maybe not quite as much, but i'm definitely back in love with reading. this past weekend i was home with a sick little boy who didn't want to do much, so i read bob and dayna baer's the company we keep, while he watched wall-e for the millionth time. it's at true story, about two people, who both work for the CIA, and end up meeting and falling in love. it was a really quick, easy read -- i started it saturday and was done by sunday afternoon. i think it would be the perfect spring break, summer vacation, lounging outside in the sun book.

paint!

a rainy sunday afternoon

so excited to paint with him today. i was done before he was. he loved it!

ollie lately

this morning
he trotted out of the bedroom, carrying gabe's old monkey (that he calls a bear). "MAMA!!!!!" he ran into my arms. then asked for his morning usual: choos (cheerios) and raisins, leche, and, "cat in the hat!"

this afternoon
i walked into his classroom to pick him up. one group of children is sitting, quietly, with zeenat, reading books. one little boy, just back from vacation and looking sort of sad, is cuddling with luz. ollie and his buddy, are both pushing strollers in circles. ollie is wearing a big leopard print hat and his friend is wearing a construction helmet. both boys are sweaty, with pink cheeks, dirty fingernails, sticky hair and huge smiles.

tonight
he sat on my lap, and drove his orange truck up and down my arm, as i talked on the phone. he fell asleep like this, his fingers tightly gripping his truck. oblivious to me talking on the phone, to gabe coming home, and turning off the alarm. he slept through me changing his diaper, putting his jammies on, placing him in his crib, kissing him goodnight...

This past weekend we celebrated Christmas with my mom’s family. My mom is one of eight. Until her mother passed away in 1995, we’d always spend Christmas Eve at my grandparents’ house in San Jose. As kids this night was the best night ever. We’d get presents from all our aunts and uncles and my Granny and we’d get to play with our bazillion cousins.

Uncle Tim was always good for a Tower Records gift certificate. I’d spend it on Christmas because “Tower,” as those of us in the know would call it, was always open on Christmas. I bought my first cassette tape with Uncle Tim's gift certificate.

Granny would always give us kids a $25 savings bond and something else. Like an Espirit sweat shirt.

I remember when I was a kid in the early 80s and my Granny got her first microwave one Christmas Eve. I think four of my mom’s 5 brothers had to carry it into the house and put it under the tree.

On the way home my dad would always claim that he saw Santa in the sky. We’d spend the whole ride home trying see Santa for ourselves. I never saw him but I did wear glasses from ’81-85. Maybe I never wore them Christmas Eve?

This past weekend we gathered at my Aunt Jeanie’s house to celebrate Christmas. Her place was perfect since it has lots of space for food and hanging out and opening presents. She and my cousin Erin set the garage up with tables with different crafts for the kids. And, the garage had a doggy door and this turned out to be a favorite with the under 10 set. Might make a good gift if you’re still trying to figure out what to get for that niece or nephew. (Remind me to tell you why I will never have a doggy door.)

Anyway, Ollie met Santa and Mrs. Claus for the first time. Technically it was his second time, but the first time he was two months old and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember.

I’m excited for him to be excited about Christmas but I’m sort of relishing this time where his whole understanding of Christmas involves pointing out “cream lights.” (Cream lights= the way Ollie says Christmas lights.)

He didn’t know that the man with the long white beard and silly red suit was Santa and that the broad with him, dressed like she’d just come from the renaissance faire, was his old lady, Mrs. Claus.

(The same went for his birthday in October. All he knew was that his parents and grandparents were hanging out, eating “cup-a-cakes” and giving him presents. Truly this isn’t really any different that a normal visit from the grandparents.

We gave him a tricycle for his birthday and then realized it wasn’t assembled. It stayed in our room, in a box for over two months. He noticed it at one point and said, “bike.” I told him daddy had to put it together. He needs to fix it, I explained. For a month he’d walk by it and say, “Dadda fix it.” Finally Gabe did, a couple of weeks ago.)

I’m sure next year, he’ll be so excited for his birthday and for Santa Claus. And, I’m looking forward to this time. But I also love that now, it’s all about spotting “cream lights" and nothing more than that.

a list of lately

1. two months ago, when we moved to our new house, we had a security system installed. (we also got two ferocious guard dogs. killer guard dogs actually. any potential robbers reading this should watch out.) last night, i noticed there was a piece missing from one of our walls. the door is still able to be armed, but, since it's only been two months, i called the company tonight to see if they could send someone out to replace the missing piece. i think the part that's missing is cosmetic--because, like i mentioned, the system still works. anyway, i was told that, sure, someone could come out. it would cost $77 for the 1st 15 minutes and $16 for each additional 15 minutes the service person was out. so, i asked to speak to a supervisor. he told me he was unable to waive any fees because we'd not signed up for a service warranty. in all fairness, he was really nice. he told me i could call the local office tomorrow, and perhaps they would waive the fees. i (nicely, i swear) told him i'd cancel the service if they charge us to fix it. so annoying. it feels like a huge scam to me.

2. it's busy 'round these parts. a flurry (heh heh) of christmas parties and birthdays and events. bad news is, we don't have a reliable babysitter, besides my brothers and folks and all of them live an hour away.

3. can we talk for a second about how lucky i feel to have two brothers who're such great uncles to my little boy? they love him so much and they're so good to him. and, he loves both of them. he calls them "an-knee" and "quiss," for anthony and chris.

4. speaking of ollie-talk, i wanted to make a list of his vocabulary right now because it kills me:

christmas lights = cream lites

yellow= yellyow

purple= people

right there= right dare

cheerios= chews

sumic=music

5. and, yesterday he said, "i love you," for the first time. each time he says it, he actually says, "i love you, too," even if he says it first.

6. a family member who was ill for a long time is doing better. for this i'm so grateful. each time i think about this, it makes me happy.

7. good night!

Conversation on our drive home

Mama, snack. Oggie snack. Briana.
Sorry Ollie, mommy doesn’t have any bananas.
Now he’s whimpering: Briana. Briana.
Ollie, baby, sorry, mama doesn’t have any snacks. As soon as we get home, I promise.
Mama, snack. Mama, pluggy. Mama. Mama. Snack mama, pease.
Sorry Ollie, mama doesn’t have any pluggies and mama doesn’t have any snacks. When we get home you can have a snack.
Mama, snack. Snack please mama. Oggie snack. Oggie pluggy. Mmmmmmmmmaaama! Snack pease. Oggie snack. Oggie snack. Oggie pluggy.

Repeat x 100

I felt so bad. He barely touched his lunch and his lunch was at 11:30. And, his snacks at school are hardly substantial--fruit and water.

Lesson learned: Always have snacks on hand. “Oggie” needs ‘em.

a few weeks ago we left ollie with my folks. we flew to new york to attend all tomorrows parties and see our dear friends. we'd both left ollie before, but never together.

we left on a wednesday night, on a red-eye so we were able to put ollie to bed and, as far as he knew, we'd only be gone for 4 nights.

before we put him to bed, the three of us read books on our bed, like we do every night. i cried. i told gabe, if we didn't have plane tickets i probably wouldn't be going. after we put him to bed, i was a blubbering mess.

on the way to the airport, i called my mother, who would be picking up ollie the next day (a babysitter was spending the night at our house that first night).

through tears, i gave her instructions, such as:

don't leave him in the car in hot weather. don't leave him in the car, period.

if you bring him swimming, you aren't to leave him alone for one second. she asked if my aunt could watch him in the pool, in case, say, she had to pee. i told her to pee in the pool. no one, NO ONE, was to be with him by the pool but her.

if you feed him grapes, they must be cut into 4 pieces. but he doesn't like grapes, i lied, so i wouldn't give him ANY grapes if i were her. or raisins. they're a choking hazard until the age of three i cautioned her. and he really doesn't like them, i lied.

and so on. it's a good thing that my mom has an excellent sense of humor. she thought my paranoia was quite a hoot.

by the time we got on the plane i was doing much better. of course, the beer i pounded at the airport (gabe made me!) probably helped me calm down.

we were gone a touch too long, but i was able to enjoy the trip. yay for overnights with the grandparents!

parklife

he took a long time to go down the "schlide." he was too busy being nosy.

uh oh

all truck all the time

ollie wore a yellow poncho with fish on the front on saturday after he finished swimming. in the "agua." or, the "pooool."



one day he'll probably kill me for these pictures. right now, though, i just can't keep them to myself. forgive the overshare here.

he likes to walk down to the corner to see the choo choo, which is the muni.

he walks up to neighbors' garages, gates, plants, cars and touches them and laughs. he waves at folks backing out of their garages and says hi to teenagers in love, sitting on their porch. he looks for his friend adam and his friend thomas. he points out trees, trucks, flowers and birds. everytime we pass a motorcyle, scooter or bike he asks me, "that?"

the other day we were walking down the street, headed towards the corner, when i noticed his shoe was untied. i bent over to tie it. i knew my underwear (a thong. seriously. classy.) was hanging out but i didn't care. he's impatient and he won't hold still: the goal was to tie the shoe so we can move!

a woman was approaching but i proceeded to tie the shoe. after she passed us, she turned back to give me a dirty look, and shook her head. i can't say i blame her. i looked her in the eye and and shook my head yes, agreeing with her.

hamburger alert

cheese

the hamburger poses for pictures and says, "cheese!"

my hamburger

pockets! we love 'em!