warm as toast

My pregnancy leave is almost over and I’m so sad about leaving my boy in the hands of another.



It breaks my heart that someone else will see his gummy smile and big, curious eyes when he first wakes up. Someone else will dry his tears. Someone else will play with him. Laugh with him. (And oh how he likes to laugh!) Someone else will snuggle with him. That he’ll pull someone else’s hair. Someone else might be there the first time he rolls over, crawls, walks, or even speaks. Someone else will change his shitty diapers, get spit up on or coax him down for a nap.



Someone else won’t love him the way I love him; there will be limits.

It hurts; just writing this is making me weepy.


And yes, I know, I’m not the first mom in the world to have to go back to work.
And yes, I know, I’m lucky I’ve had the chance to spend so much time with him.

And I’m so grateful that I have such a beautiful, happy little man.

But.

That doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to miss my little baby.